I'm a single mom! I'm not my children's father

By 1:12:00 AM , , , ,


This morning I stepped into church and a slew of people hugged and wished me happy father's day!

All I could think about was "thank you" for reminding me I'm doing the job of two people.
"Thank you" for celebrating my dysfunction.
"Thank you" for reminding me of the one thing I can never give to my children.

I'm terrible at comebacks, I never know how to respond to stuff like that so I just stare.

Which is good because when my mind has done processing a response, it was going all Samuel L Jackson on their donkeys. That wouldn't be pretty. Especially in church.

It's becoming a trend for people to wish single mothers happy father's day on father's day.
I understand the sentiment behind it, as a single mom I am indeed parenting for two but by any means am I my children's father.

I can mother them 210%  and I do! 

But I cannot and never will fill the void their father left.
No matter how much I invest, how much I give, how much I spend time with them... they still feel the rejection, the weight of being left. They still questioned if they're responsible, they still wonder, they still cry... 

NO. MATTER. WHAT. I. DO.

There's a big empty spot where their father is supposed to be and they can see it.

Therefore, this part of their lives I surrendered to God a long time ago.  I know I just have to trust that God is their father and that no weapon formed against us will prosper.
In this case, a fatherless home is the weapon against us.
I believe that God is for us and we will not be the scary statistics I've heard about.

For the well-wishers, I can use your encouragement on some other days like any other day of the year, but wishing me "happy father's" on father's day is just tacky and hurtful.
Please stop!

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